Welcome, dear SMC’s (single moms by choice) to a space dedicated to celebrating your unique journey as you navigate solo parenting. This post aims to acknowledge your strengths, validate your feelings and experiences, and offer tips to help you thrive in your role. First, I see you…
I see you when you carry not just the day-to-day logistics with no handoffs, but also the mental, financial, and emotional load for your family.
You schedule all the appointments, take care of all the household responsibilities, attend the parent-teacher conferences, soothe your child in the middle of the night, the list is endless. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times - you wear all the hats and carry all the responsibilities.
I see you when you have that ping in your gut after being around a crowd of “traditional” parents and families.
Sometimes, it’s hard to not feel like an outsider in a world that often celebrates traditional family structures. But remember, your choice to become a single mom is courageous and filled with love. Your family is just as valid and beautiful as any other.
I see you when you’re sick or exhausted but can’t lay down and rest until your child(ren) goes to sleep or snuggles next to you.
The nights can be long and the days even longer, but your unwavering commitment to your family is bigger than these moments. The moments pass; love is consistent.
I see you when you have to say “no” to events/gatherings with friends more than your co-parenting peers because you can’t always find a sitter or take the kids.
SMC’s often make sacrifices and miss out on moments with friends because your role as an SMA demands flexibility. Your “no” is not a reflection of your desire for friendship so make sure you surround yourself with people who understand your responsibilities.
I see you when you’re so happy and grateful you choose to create a family that you want to shout your joy for miles on end.
Your decision to be a SMC is a powerful testament to your determination and love. Your choices and your joy inspire others more than you realize. Embrace these moments of pride, and celebrate with the people who celebrate you.
You are not alone in your journey as an SMC. You are part of an incredible community of resilient, strong, loving parents who are rewriting the script for the modern family.
Embrace Your Choice
Choosing to become a SMC took courage. You’ve made a conscious decision to create and nurture a family on your terms, and that deserves recognition and celebration. Embrace the beauty of your choice. Your courage will empower your children to embrace their family and also inspire other future mothers to make the same choice.
Nurture Emotional Well-Being
Honor your full range of emotions. You can coexist with gratitude and moments of overwhelm. Seeking support through therapy, joining support groups, or connecting with other single moms can provide a valuable space for reflection, emotional release, and shared experiences. Single Mothers by Choice network provides a great space for community and resources.
Cultivate Self-Care
Prioritize radical self-care! Carving out time for yourself is challenging, especially when you’re an SMC, so make your self-care routine realistic because it’s important. By valuing and attending to your own needs, you model self-love and care to your child, creating a healthy foundation for both of you.
Create a Support Network
Get yourself a village. Surround yourself with individuals who understand and support your journey. Remember, that asking for help and cultivating the ability to receive is a strength.
Celebrate Milestones
Parenthood is filled with milestones, big and small. It can feel lonely at times to not have a partner to share all the “firsts” with - the first steps, the first day of school, the first words…but find gratitude in these moments and savor the joy they bring.
Every mom’s journey through parenthood is unique. Honor your feelings, find the resources you need that work for you, and know that there is so much love in this process. You got this, mama!